Finding your way

A Bearing is taken from your position: your account and the observations identified from it. It shows the behavior you described, which norm it relates to and how it was classified, based on what your account supports.

It can't tell you what the other person saw, knew or expected. They may have information you don't. They may remember it differently. They may have been working from a different expectation altogether.

A Bearing gives you your position, not the whole picture.

Two people can use the same SocialBearing Framework and still experience a situation very differently.

In the Core Product Pod example, Alex, Johan and Sofia each took a private Bearing after a product review meeting. All three private Bearings classified their observations of the interruption as a Difference. Yet Alex saw himself as being direct about the work. Johan stopped contributing. Sofia felt she was defending a colleague.

Later that week, all three Bearings classified their observations of the missed deadline as Friction. Only Alex's account mentions that he was still verifying the data. Johan's Bearing can't show him that.

A Difference doesn't mean either person is wrong. A Friction doesn't establish intent or fault. The norms are reference points for understanding and talking about a situation, not evidence that you're right. What someone said or did stays separate from what you concluded it meant.

See the Core Product Pod example →

Some relationships can't simply be fixed or left: a manager, a co-founder, a co-parent, a family member. You may already understand the problem. You may have talked about it many times. The other person may not change.

You still have to navigate it, one interaction at a time.

A Bearing doesn't need to lead to a conversation or a resolution to be useful. It can help you find your position again in each new situation: what happened this time, which norm it relates to and how the behavior was classified.

One Bearing captures one situation. But relationships go on, and new situations come up.

Each time you take a Bearing, you can save it to a Log. Like a ship's log, a Log records where you were and what happened, one entry at a time. It doesn't map the other person.

Keep a Log. Bring Bearings involving a particular relationship or situation together. Revisit earlier ones as new situations arise, rather than relying on memory alone.

Navigate. Look across your saved Bearings through the norms of the SocialBearing Framework. See where similar behaviors appear in different situations, including observations classified as Difference or Friction and those left unclassified.

You don't have to wait for a major disagreement. Everyday interactions can also be worth noticing.

SocialBearing doesn't interpret your record or tell you what the patterns mean.

You decide what matters, what to save and what to make of it.

A Bearing is a starting point, not an instruction. What comes next is up to you. There is no prescribed next step.

In an ongoing relationship, navigation isn't a single decision. It's something you keep doing.

Let it settle. Sometimes having a clearer reference point is enough. You can return to it later.

Talk it through. Another person may have information or a perspective you haven't considered. You can use your observations to explain what you experienced, ask about expectations or clarify what happened.

Explore a structured approach. Nonviolent Communication (NVC) begins with observation without evaluation, which can make it a natural place to continue from a Bearing. It also explores feelings, needs and requests.

Use existing resources. At work, these might include guidelines, your manager, HR or an employee assistance program.

Consult a professional. A coach, mediator or therapist can help with questions a Bearing doesn't address.

Use your Bearing as a reference. Your observations may help you prepare for a conversation, explain a concern, clarify an expectation or advocate for yourself. You can also use them with a general AI tool. If you choose to share a Bearing, consider the privacy of everyone involved. A Bearing is not independent evidence of what happened or who was right.

If you feel unsafe, seek appropriate help. A Safety Alert identifies a concern in the account you provided. It is not a verified finding. Depending on the situation, help may come from someone you trust, an appropriate reporting channel or emergency services.

Take a Bearing when something feels off or an interaction surprises you. Save what matters and come back to it.

Get your Bearing. Keep your log. Choose your direction.